Miscarriage

Miscarriage is a topic that most people do not want to think about. However, if you have a family member or friend who has recently suffered a miscarriage there are ways you can help and support without feeling you are intruding on such an emotional time.

A miscarriage usually occurs in the early stages of pregnancy and although the baby may not seem very real to you, the parents have often already planned the baby's entire life and in just a few short weeks have become emotionally attached to the little being inside the womb. The parents have not only lost a baby but their hopes and dreams for the future.

There are some things that well-meaning family and friends will say and do following miscarriage. Some of these include:

Meeting or talking with the parents and not acknowledging their loss. For many parents it is important to have their experience recognised.
Certain sayings that are offered as comfort following miscarriage can also be hurtful, such as

"It was only a miscarriage, you'll get over it";
"You're young and fertile, you can always have another one";
"You've already got two healthy children, maybe this one wasn't normal";
"Put it behind you and get on with your life"; or
"I've had three miscarriages and I've just lost my job."

Asking after the welfare of only one partner, either the man or the woman, can be hurtful. It is important to acknowledge that both parents may be grieving in their own way. The question
"How are you, and how is your partner?" demonstrates that you care about both of them.

Be ready to lend a shoulder to cry on or be prepared to listen when needed. It takes time to recover emotionally from a miscarriage and some parents will take longer than others and need the emotional support that a friend or family member can give.

There are also several organizations that can provide support and information, two of these can be found by clicking on the following links.

http://www.sands.org.au/

http://www.bbf.org.au/home.asp